These terms(relationship compatibility) are taken for granted by everybody, like they just don't care, they go into relationships hopping that it will somehow magically work. I can't believe how many incompatible couples I see everyday, and when I see a compatible couple, I just love to watch, to observe the chemistry, you see that they are opposite and in the same time alike, it's beautiful, nature is beautiful isn't it?
But how does this work ? how do the partners have to be in order to be compatible ? is there a certain way ? well the answer is YES and NO. There are the two levels : the biological level (the lower animal level, and by lower I do not mean inferior), and the spiritual level(the upper level).
Why is it YES , why they have to be a certain way?
well it's because this universe is governed by to main forces (energies) : Yang and Yin.
- Yang is represented by the masculine force, the dark force which is characterized by dominance, stillness, silence, focus, cold, outward, fire, death, aggressive.
- Yin on the other hand is the feminine force, the light force which is characterized by life, movement, birth, vulnerability, loud, emotion, sensitivity, clouded, inward, process, spontaneous, submissive, water.
(If this sounds woo-woo and eastern spiritual stuff to you I understand completely but please bear with me, I think you will enjoy all of this till the end)
So everything in this universe is governed by the dance of Yang and Yin: the electric energy, the gravity force, and yes the sexual attraction. ATTRACTION IS CREATED BY POLARITY. The more Yang(dominant) a partner is, and the more Yin(submissive) the other partner is the more attraction will be between the two. I will refer to Yang(masculine partner) to be the man, and Yin(feminine partner) to be the woman, and I will talk only about couples, this is for clarity reasons because relationships can be with more than two partners and relationships can have the woman as Yang (dominant) and the man as Yin(submissive).
This is how nature works, there is just no other way to this : if both partners are Yang they will compete, and both will try to control one another, if both partners are Yin they will not be happy cause they need to be led. So if each partner knows his/her role (Yang or Yin) the relationship lasts longer because the sexual attraction will be there. By dominant I don't mean abusive and by submissive I don't mean giving your power away to the dominant partner, it just means that the submissive partner allows and trusts the dominant partner to be the leader in the relationship and to make decisions, so that the feminine partner can relax in his/her feminine energy.
When we talk about human character Yang and Yin blend and split into four energy types also known as Jungian types : phlegmatic, melancholic, choleric, sanguine. Although I knew about these four types for alot of time I just thought : "well , these are interesting but what's the use of them ?" and I didn't find one for a lot of time. Then after searching and reading I stumbled upon Dr Paul Dobransky's new reframe of the Jungian archetypes. Dr. Paul reframed them into : lover, warrior, king/queen, magician. So why is this all psychology bla-bla useful for you say ? Well it so useful that it amazes me even to this day. Check this out : the four types are described into for quadrants of a circle :
Dr. Paul describes them as :The King Archetype is nurturing, or even passive, logical and orderly, likes to direct things and issue commands without being the one to carry them out, and is characterized by wisdom, in which others often come to them for advice.
The Warrior Archetype is more confident and active, ready to dive into activity that needs to be done. It is logical and orderly like the King though. The Warrior in men is a force of defense and protection of friends and family, like a police officer, and is the force of industriousness and detailed ambition. These are the go-to people for when there is a task to be done with precision.
The Magician Archetype is full of emotional confidence like the Warrior, but is very creative, adventurous, and so capable of multitasking and “street smarts” that others might see their actions as magic. These people are performers, salespeople, and are “naturals” at making things happen that would seem impossible to most others. They dream big, and make those dreams happen. They are the center of celebration and spectacle.
Finally, the Lover Archetype is also artistic and creative like the Magician, but nurturing and passive like the King. These are the storytellers of society, and the shy musicians and writers, they are the romantics, the poets, the loving nurturers of society, and the fools who make us laugh with joy.
Each one of us has been born with a core archetype and we more or less expand into the other 3 throughout our entire life. So you might be 40% king, 23% warrior, 17% lover and 20% magician. So how does relationship compatibility works ? Well it's very simple : The opposites attract : Lovers are attracted to Warriors and viceversa and Kings are attracted to Magicians and viceversa. The relationships formed by these two pairs are natural and spontaneous, each partner feeling free to express himself/herself without being to much afraid of judgement, because they have opposite energies and they complete. Let's say you are a Lover. The most enriched relationship you can have is with a warrior, a relationship with a queen/king or magician is harder and require more energy to make it work and a relationship with a lover is a lot more harder because both of you have the same issues and bring the same energy into relationship so there is no polarity. The ability you have to detect as quickly as you can the archetype of your potential partner the better, because it will save you a lot of time and drama, because you cannot cheat the system, you cannot cheat nature, that is what nature wants and we better make it an advantage rather than fight with it. Let me give you another interesting example :
a woman:
60% lover
23% warrior
10% magician
7% queen/king
60% lover
23% warrior
10% magician
7% queen/king
a perfect match for her will be :
60% warrior
23% lover
60% warrior
23% lover
10% king/queen
7% magician
7% magician
a man :
40% warrior
30% king/queen
20% magician
10% lover
40% warrior
30% king/queen
20% magician
10% lover
a perfect match for him will be :
40% lover
30% magician
20% king/queen
10% warrior
How will this relationship work ?40% lover
30% magician
20% king/queen
10% warrior
Well, it's predictable : the core archetypes are opposites indeed but if you notice there is a certain imbalance here : the woman is more lover then the man is warrior (the woman is 60% lover and the man is 40% warrior). What would that cause ? The woman needs more warrior energy from the man (because it's her opposite energy) and the man needs more magician energy from the woman(he needs 30% magician(he needs her to entertain him) and she has only 7%, in the same time there are great chances that he will not be able to appreciate her extra 20% of opposite lover energy) so there could be some issues here, but they could get along if they manage to see these differences.
Ok ok, I know this looks like math and logical stuff and you wonder: "Hey we are talking about human beings here , give me something "normal"!" Well this is the actual thing. Those numbers makes us tick and knowing them will make our life easier. You don't need to know the numbers, just focus on the traits that the partner that you are interested in is showing to you.
So you want to know what is your personality profile according to these 4 archetypes ? Here, take the test and come back
How about the astrological signs ?
Yes they do matter and you can get interesting and helpful insights by studding a little bit about the general traits of each sign and how they get along with other signs.
"Why is it NO, why they don't have to be a certain way?" or "Love is all you need"
This part is so profound that I will probably lose most of my readers that I have so far. On the previous part I talked about the universal energies and the psychology(biology) part. Now I'm going to talk a bit about the spirituality part and this part is the most important of all, this part will make the difference in your life, this part when you got it handled will make you cry because you are so happy that you cannot express it words. I don't intend to be emotional here or sentimental, I'm talking about real facts , the genuine facts, because this part is rare in our society and you cannot believe how few couples actually reach it and enjoy it. This part is about your consciousness level, it's about how deep you like to swim in this life, how much you want from it in terms of genuine unattached happiness. Most people don't swim at all, they just let themselves carried by the waves, don't make decisions in their lives, don't take risks, do not learn about themselves, and they are not interested in learning about their partner also, they just don't care.
How does this apply to relationship compatibility ? The relationship with your partner is the relationship with yourself, the relationship with yourself is your relationship with world(universe). If both partners have almost the same consciousness levels, they respect each other's roles(they clearly know who is the masculine, who is leading and taking decisions and who is the feminine, who is following and nurtures the masculine), and if they Love themselves that much that they don't actually need one another to be happy(to be happy means that someone is not being in denial or being aloof and pretends that he doesn't care about his love life), and when they do come together in Love they give themselves completely that is when the biology and the psychology do not really matter that much. What I've just written here it may seem contradictory with the first part of this essay, but they are actually different levels of the same Truth : It's our Hearts that are compatible/incompatible in the end. Most people will think this is logical and somehow easy but it's not, and it's not something that happens by chance, it's about conscious choice, it's about you choosing and accepting your partner as being different than you and through the power of your Love you will allow him/her the space to manifest without judgement, jealousy, anger, shame, guilt. This is the first half. The other half is when your partner does the same with you.Then you are compatible (these things are general and refer to overall behaviour, of course from time to time we might get angry or jealous but it's our job to not let this be who we are). And you know all this stuff from the beginning, from the first eye contact. As a general rule : most of the times if the relationship is not going smooth then it was not meant to be.
This is one of your life's quests to find out more about relationships.
Now I'm gonna give you the information you need to start on your journey into relationship mastery. To start on your journey to know more, to enjoy more, and to live more. You see, we are here for a reason , the reason is to live fully and the way of living fully is through genuine self expression. It's very hard to express oneself honestly and it requires a life long practice and you have to practice everything, from the way you talk ,to the way you eat to they way you talk to your lover, to the way you do everything, everything has to be conscious, everything has to happen NOW. When a relationship is compatible it enriches self expression of both partners. You are yourself and you are more, you feel more free in the commitment than out of it. How do you reach such a state ? you want to learn it but from where ? everything out there seems to lack the practical aspect of it, more or less not applying to you, so yes I thought about sharing this things with you, cause they changed my life, and not in a way that most of you expect, not in the way that I could say: "I'm so different now, and nothing is the same" it's in a more subtle way, in a way that I realised that most of my answers are in me, so are in you, all the teachers in your life, every book, every article is about YOU, about you taking the things outside of you to help you get the things inside of you out more naturally and more fulfilling, be that affection, art, computer programming, dancing, everything. Well there is a person that I would like to talk about, his name is Stephane Hemon, and I found him while I was browsing youtube for video content on "how to pick-up chicks", yes i've studied that :), and it got me to this point in my life and I'm grateful. So how did I found this guy, Stephane? and why am I bothering here to write about him, I could just promote my own thing, write my own stuff, why do I do it? it could be for affiliate income! yes I admit there is a part of me that is doing this for that, but the bigger part of me, that part that wants to share with the world the benefits of a life changing information it is so powerful that it gets out of me even if I want it or not, through this blog, through my friends, through the cashier at the store, everywhere, it's not about the sexual relationship compatibility you see, it's about everything, we are molded from the same energy, if your relationship is not compatible that means a bigger part of you is not compatible with a bigger part of your world, it's all about you in the end you see, it's your approach to the life you have. Ok, so now back to Steph, while I was cruising the web for more pick-up lines, I saw these free interviews with Steph, so I though : "oh well here goes another one pick-up guru, let's give it a shot", it was not something that I was expecting but in the same time I had a deja-vouz, that feeling when someone is telling you the things that are already in you that you don't know how to express. When I first start to write this article I thought : "I'm gonna search for a book on amazon.com about relationship compatibility" and market it cause it goes well with the blog, but then I thought : "how can I do it better? how can I serve this purpose better? and I got the answer easy" so here it is my friend, if you enjoyed what you have read so far, check Stephane Hemon as well, it might change your life as you have not yet dreamt of, and make your stress about relationship compatibility a thing of the past.
Peace, Strenght and Joy,
Cristian Luca
Check my new website on dating and relationships: Relationship Compatibility
Check my new website on personality test: Online Personality Test
